This NLP technique allows you to stay resourceful when you’re criticized, whether it’s at home at work or with friends.

This enables you to use criticism as feedback to improve your relationships.

1. See yourself, in front of you. That self in front of you is going to learn a new approach to criticism, while you watch from the outside. Do whatever you need to do to feel detached from that self. You can see that self farther away, in black & white or behind Plexiglas, etc.
2. Watch & listen as that self gets criticized and instantly dissociates. There are several ways that self can surround him/herself with a Plexiglas shield when criticized. Or, that self can see the words of criticism printed within a cartoon balloon, etc. That self uses one of these methods to keep feeling neutral or resourceful.
3. Watch as that self makes a slide or movie of what the criticizer is saying. What does that person mean? Does that self have enough information to make a clear, detailed picture? If no, gather information. If yes, proceed…
4. Have that self decide on a response. For example, that self can agree with any part of the criticism that you agree with. Or, that self could apologize, saying, “I’ll give it some serious thought”, or, “I see things differently now”, etc.
5. Does that self want to use the information you got from the criticism to act differently next time? If so, have that self select a new behavior. That self will then imagine using the new behavior in detail in the future. Next, that self can step into this movie of using the new behavior to feel what it’ll be like.
6. Having watched that self go through this entire strategy, do you want this for yourself? If no, ask inside how you can modify this strategy so that it fits for you. If yes, continue…
7. Thank that self for being a special resource to you in learning this strategy. Now pull that self into you, feeling him/her fill you so that this knowledge becomes fully integrated into you.

For more NLP techniques, read the NLP Toolbox Review.

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Unless you see a lot of hypnosis clients, you may not come in contact with someone like this. I was in business for almost five years before this guy walked into my office to quit smoking with hypnosis.

Before I accept someone as a hypnosis client, they must go through a screening process. You see, not everyone qualifies to be my client. (The reason is that I may not want to work with a person if I see they may be a problem client.)

So, this guy quickly fills in the Intake Sheet and sits down and proceeds to demonstrate how brilliant and smart and knowledgeable and smart (did I say that again?) he is. In short, he told me, he is “a genius”.

Wow. A real genius. In my very own office. Pinch me.

Well, I accepted this guy as a client, set an appointment and when he came back for his first smoking cessation session, that’s when I knew I may have made a mistake in taking him as a client.

You see, many hypnotists think that if your IQ is over 70 that they can be hypnotized. However, if someone is a smarty-pants and is very “critical thinking” and likes to break things down and analyze them, they are also very difficult to hypnotize.

Surprised? Well, think about it. Hypnosis depends on trust and rapport. If someone is spending their time thinking, “Why did he just say that? Am I hypnotized, yet?” and other such thoughts, their critical thinking will keep them from going into a trance.

So, for the smoking program’s initial session, I do a Progressive Relaxation induction and the client is hypnotized. Then, he’s put on an audio program for a bit to listen to an automated program. Later, I come back and do personalized suggestions.

Well, throughout the PR induction, he’s opening his eyes, squirming, asking me questions… I should have just refunded his money and been done with him. Instead, I considered this a challenge. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

By the way, during the induction I do at least eight “convincers” (eye catalepsy, arm catalepsy, saliva flow, glove analgesia, etc.) so they know they are hypnotized. Mr. Analysis experienced all of them.

After doing the induction and putting him on the audio program, I left to attend to another client who was doing wonderfully with her weight loss hypnosis program.

After doing the suggestions, placing him back on the automated program, I returned later to wrap things up. I went over the convincers and we set up his second appointment, I gave him his “Stop Smoking” CD and he was off.

Three days later…

Mr. Know-It-All comes back, sits down in the chair and said it, “Well, I quit smoking, but it wasn’t the hypnosis.”

Amazing, huh? In 30 years, he couldn’t even stop smoking for a day, and one session with me, he quit smoking.

But, according to him, it wasn’t the hypnosis. (It won’t take a genius to figure out that it was.)

He needed to feel as if he was the one who mastered smoking.

What do I care? I did my job.

“Next…!”